It’s our month ladies 💃👅🙌 (as I twerk all over this post).
I know every day is our day 😪 but ka August the rest of em get to understand just how badass we are. I’ve been writing this since July (it’s been sitting in my drafts lark 🙋 – ne ke procrastinata coz my birthday month has been full of drama nje 😯) but August seems like it’ll treat me pretty good. Before I get to the celebratory part of this post, I want to ask something…
Have you put some respek on any sister’s name lately?
Many moons ago, Twittervile went madzo for #RespekTheDoek 💃What a time mahn. I joined in the 🎇 because I am the Queen of Naarce Things 😜 & ke rata dintho mara also because it hit home. Many who know me know I’m very pro-Africa. I don’t even have to say it ✊. I also have a head wrap brand. My baby. The brand story will give you insight-nyana on why I was angry ho tseba about Nontobeko’s situation (read the story here if you’re not clued up). In 2016 people are still being fucky about our crowns? Gerara here mahn! During the time #RespekTheDoek trended I was very excited and emotional at the same time. Queens and Kings showed up and put some respek on the iconic Headwrap/Doek. It was magical. Why don’t we do the same ka rona? Put some respek on this sisterhood thing.
Women are the most disrespected beings on earth 💔 ene lea tseba and it’s also because we (sometimes) don’t respek ourselves. Nnete. Let it sink in. Add an alcohol beverage substance if you want to.
While drafting this post, I started thinking about what I might have contributed in putting a fellow sister down (intentionally and unintentionally). I did some serious digging guys and let me tell you (for mahala), looking back isn’t always easy. It’s a tough thing to do but it actually helps… Talking also helps out too, if you need to vent and offload some stuff (my friend Tebza helped out when we were out ko Braam 🍻 epic night that night).
Recognising your past and present behaviour helps when you want to see if you are truly the person you inspire to be. It’s needed if you want to let go of negative things and move on to more postive things in life. And if you want to heal. I want to ultimately turn this into somewhat of a collective healing exercise for myself and other sisters who also want to let go of some baggage and start “afresh”… You can either write or think really hard (like I did). Whatever triggers your memories better.
1. Acknowledge your non-respek-full behaviours (small or shocking 😹)
2. Express your apology (face-to-face or with God)
3. Forgive yourself and the dis-respek-full sister
4. Release the hurt
5. Move on.
Here’s a little peep into what I wrote after doing this exercise (I’ve combined my stuff and the other sisters stuff coz sisonke) 😌
“I am sorry. I am sorry for not showing up when you needed me. I’m sorry for caring a little to not at all. I’m sorry for shaming and bulling you. I’m sorry for hurting you kabomo and unintentionally. I’m sorry for acting out of selfishness. I’m sorry for being jealous of you. I’m sorry for calling you names. I’m sorry for throwing you under the bus. I’m sorry for not celebrating your happy moments with a happy heart. I’m sorry for judging you. I’m sorry for using your stuff without permission. I’m sorry for gossiping and laughing at you. I’m sorry for ignoring you or not asking you how you are doing. I forgive myself and you. I let go of all the hurt, anger and disappointments. I hope you do too 💞”
Shuu that was a heart-full 😭. Just like Erykah Badu says in The Healer “Reset. Restart. Reboot.” Be perfectly imperfect, make mistakes and learn (we’re human bathong) AND do all things unapologetically and mindfully respek-full to others… (That’s what I want for myself).
Show up for yourself.
Show up for her.
Just show up for each other.
PS: please also watch this video a friend of mine, Nobuntu Mwulwana-Mhlamhi did. Her videos are inspiring so open your hearts and listen ♥
So where’s the celebration you ask? Bona! Monate wa iketsetswa. Go and celebrate your womaness 🙌 #HappyAugust #WomensMonth