How has your the relationship with your body been like? Lol my body and I have a love hate relationship but I know and understand her now. I think we both are still growing in what we can do for each other.

What made you not appreciate your body when you were younger? 🤔where do I start, ahh yes! So my family is blessed with very beautiful dark skin and luscious black hair. I happen to be the outlier of these genes. Look, society will mess you up. My family was quite well known and it didn’t help that my sister was a brainiac causing academic waves in my home town. I’d constantly be compared to her or better, I’d be denied my identity as her sister cause I didn’t look like my family members. Yhu my mind started convincing me that I’d be accepted if I had darker skin, maybe if my hair was darker or if I was chubbier then batla nfeela. Phela I was this skinny kid with brown hair n a fading hair line claiming to be siblings to dark skinned individuals with the most glorious black hair and chubby bodies. I just wanted to fit in, i just wanted to be accepted. So most of my insecurities would start there as a kid.

The other leg of my bodily insecurities would start in primary. I always looked older than my age apparently. It didn’t help that I would be the first to start my periods at 11 years. My bums and hips just blew out nje, 🤦🏾‍♂️ now it was assumed that I was having sex. Gosh you people and your narrow minded views about a woman’s body! Now it’s unnecessary attraction from boys and male teachers. My mother had a hard time shem, she didn’t want me to get it in my head that I think I’m the ish from what all these boys are saying. So she’d remind me on a daily to not take these boys seriously when they tell me I’m pretty, that being pretty comes from the brain and not what you see outside.

Now I had a lot to prove, that I’m smart by virtue of being a sister to big sis, that I won’t get pregnant because of my rapidly developing body that’s attracting “men” (look someone blatantly told me I wont finish high school without being pregnant cause my body suggests I’m having sex) 🙄 and to not trigger the girls that are not particularly happy with the outcome of my body (cause hello, green eyed monster can get you into trouble babes ).

When did you start fully loving your body? 2011, UJ, Amper Daar ladies residence. I met beautiful women that were comfortable in their skin and intellect. I had finally found a place that accepted that a woman can look any way she wants, in any shade and size.

Looking back, what would you say to your younger self about showing self-love to your body? Projection from insecure people is a real thing. Don’t make their projection your reality. Took me a while to accept how I looked because of how people viewed me and my body. According to kasi legend, I’m such a hoe purely based on how my body looked. 🤣😂 hape khale le njolisa le batho jong.

What advise would you give someone who needs a little motivation to loving their bodies? Social media is unrealistic in how they represent beauty. Beauty isn’t light skin, beauty isn’t big bums n small waist. Beauty is accepting yourself as you are n loving the #$ out of yourself regardless of who says what about you. Don’t let misguided conceptions from a vein society determine how you need to love your body n intellect.

What’s your most favourite part of of your body? Why? Everything. They all that I have in this lifetime. Even my ugly toes n crooked teeth. Every body part is a gift from one of my ancestors. It would be a sin to have a favourite part

Where can we find you on social media? @nthatzz on Insta,
Nthati Machesa on Facebook and Twitter

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