I’ve been selling head wraps for over 2 years now but my selling has always been so empty. The kind of emptiness where someone would see Beyonce, Bonang or some other famous celebrity rocking a head wrap and that would inspire them to buy one. I mean making the extra money is naarce but not that fulfilling. This is probably the easiest way to make extra money but I want to make that money and leave an experience (something I had an aha moment about after a status meeting on my number 1 work baby Strongbow). Why not sell something and leave a legacy while you at it?
I’ve been on a mission to make this brand more visible and a very good friend of mine, Thabitha, came up with the idea of having a meet and greet event at Zoo Lake on #nationalheadwrapday… Laaaark??? I thought about it and with the 700+ people that like my Facebook page but don’t engage on my posts why not have a little get together with my people? Le nna I want genuine likes, shares and comments moes? Hao!
So mission “make Maletsatsi Head Wraps” more interactive is the order for October – this gave me stress because I’m the kind of person to leave WhatsApps on read for months, not reply to your SMS’s or just not pick up your phone. Very ironic because I’m in the Communications industry mara I’m an introvert so I need my peace and quiet after a long day/week of emails, calls and more emails. So my bright idea in support of the Meet And Greet Picnic was to have all the ladies that have been buying my head wraps (and other inspirational ladies) share their stories on Womynhood. It’s rough being a woman guys – like with everything, especially if it’s mixed with adulting. A big thing for me is depression and the feeling of not being worthy enough, comparing yourself to mang-mang who has her life in order and a man who genuinely loves her. Even the little things like weight, having a weird-nyana physic, no big butt, etc. That shit creeps up on you (I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen to men but this is not the platform to talk about right now).
I decided to profile my #maletsatsisheadwraps clients on my blog, to share their struggles and inspiring moments as women in today’s generation. I collected some very relevant questions that would highlight my main purpose of selling these head wraps – for women who wear their crowns with pride. Some of my friends and supporters of my brand felt very hesitant to answer the questions. Not because they couldn’t but these questions hit too close to home. Again, one of the reasons I started this blog – to be open and unashamed of my experiences as a young women who’s having to deal with the fact that at 26 I should have my life in order. Tsek! to the person that made those rule – bona jwale re batla ho jola, have kids, have an awesome career and get married because that’s all you see vele. I’m not hating to the ladies that have everything, mara le re kenyetsa pressure mahn lol. The aim of these questions is to ultimately tell yourself that “I don’t have to be perfect”. Whatever you have now (and all the lessons you’ve learned from life till today – you do not have to be perfect.
I went on to encourage the ladies to just write what they feel – it is something like a healing session – be honest with yourself and everyone around you – What A Time To Be A Mofumahali.
It’s nice to preach all this so I’m going to show you that I mean what I say… So here’s my profile feature (below) to kickstart the #MHWQueendomSeries. Below is the QnA I sent my sistas and I’ll be the first to reveal to the world my story. I hope you enjoy and pass a little judgment as you will lol – I don’t really mind – ke tsa hao tseo.
Name: My government name is Selloane Ivana Confidence Moleli – that’s a story for another day but just so you know, Maletsatsi is my God given name!!!!
Age: 26 and going on 30 sooner than I thought (Jezuzzzzzz)
Life quote: … life is always saying “you gon learn today”. I don’t know mahn, every day is different. You just have to warrior it.
What does it mean to be a woman (in this day and age) and what is the most important thing to you as a woman? Being a woman in this day and age means I have to play multiple roles I don’t even want to play sometimes. It’s having to be strong on more occasions that I can be weak or myself, it’s being masculine than feminine in occasions where I have to protect myself, it’s being silent and afraid to voice my hurt, anger, and craziness because I have to be composed and be a lady – ho rough being a woman, that’s all I know but I kick ass at it. That moment when I feel like I have my shit together and I’m being the best person I can be, flaws-and-all, that is the greatest feeling ever… plus I’m a Queen – don’t test me! The most important thing to me as a woman is that in my head, I try to provide a safe place for the women I’m around (whether I talk to you or not, I make a difference in yo life – deal) and I can go on my periods (love it and hate it) en no man will ever take that away from me lol.
What is self-hate to you? And have you been a victim of it? Self-hate is not accepting who you are (past or present) and I’ve been a victim of it for possibly 26 years of my life. Depends on what my situation I’m in life is on a specific day – it just creeps ups on me.
Do you still have issues with self-esteem? And what helps you snap out of it? I still have massive issues with self-esteem (in life, love and work) and it irritates the crap out of me. I’ve been a shy person for as long as I can remember (ya you bishes that know me well will not agree but I’m really super quiet). I was a very outgoing and talkative child but I think growing up in an abusive home made me afraid to be as expressive as I would like to have been. And the bullying in primary didn’t make it any easier also. Being a chubby dark dindi in a society that credits beauty to the yellowbones of the world can caused issues with my self-esteem. I could write a whole book about why I’m such a naive person but I also get to remember that my circumstances don’t make me the woman that I have grown up to be. I do not curse the lessons I’ve had (although bra God could have been more lenient) – I appreciate them. Even the ones I experienced by seeing and listening to stories through friends and aquaintances – those things build your character at the end of the day. That helps me snap out of it.
When did you learn to start loving the woman you are? The concept of being an “African Woman” helped me cope. I’ve been wearing that cape since high school. With that, I didn’t have to explain the pigment of my skin, why I don’t feel like wearing makeup, why I don’t wear jewellery, why I don’t buy expensive labels, why I can go a whole decade without having to visit the salon, why I’m just an average woman and a complete shock when I dress up, why I can just be nje without having your peers, family, or loves in your life question what kind of woman you are. After high school, I had a very random conversation with a friend of mine from home (Kamohelo) on how people box you and expect you to be a certain person because of “this cape you wear” which is not truly who you are… at that moment I realised I can keep my super African woman cape on because I love it and still be the ratchat-ass-liker-of-things that I am. At that moment, I truly started loving the woman I am.
What do you think has influenced your confidence? What confidence? Maybe just my name fela… I’m still the most insecure person I know on the planet and whenever the “Maletsatsi” in me reveals herself, I shine like a damn diamond lol.
What are your passions and inspirations? I have a lot of passions of which I’m still exploring and not 100% sure on (especially considering that 8 years ago all I wanted to be was the most successful fashion designer – I will puck if I have to sew anything in my life or make a pattern again). I guess my passions right now is being the best person I can be. I aspire to be an inspiration to the women of the world, how ever small impact I make. I want to inspire love, authenticity, all that a woman represents. Proof?
- My tattoo: A duafe; a west African symbol of all things feminine – love beauty, care, all the feminine qualities you can think of
- My brand, Maletsatsi’s Head Wraps: created to celebrate women who know and fearlessly embrace who they are and proudly wear their crowns with pride
- This blog: I’m sharing my life experiences (some, don’t get too carried away here) with you so you can see you are not alone in this ausi
Do you have any fashion/beauty icons, if so who are they? Uhhh I have fashion icons that I like mara my budget is too low to aspire that high. Otherwise, I can say Erykah Badu (she’s also my music icon) because she puts on what feels right whenever – daas what I do. I do have days where I look extra naarce shame, just depends on the occasion.
If you could meet your younger self, what would you say to her? Lol, yaaaaas ausi, yaaaas! We’ll figure that ish out later on – ene enjoy being hit on now, kuyaniwa lol.
If you had to tell one thing to every little girl in the world, what would it be? “You do not have to be perfect”. I cannot stress this enough especially because of the very not-child-friendly world we live in. Yes, ra ba bona bo Nicki Ninaj, Kim K, whichever on-fleek women these little girls see in the media and aspire to be like. Little lady, that might not be you! Take your time figuring yourself and image out. The pressure is really not worth it *as I bust a move to Formation*.
PS: Everything you see in the media streets is real!
Where can we find you on social media?